As New Jersey’s population ages, many people will find themselves needing to care for and support an elderly relative, helping them maintain their independence and overall vitality. For example, the World Population Review notes that Trenton, New Jersey, alone has approximately 11,000 senior citizens, most of whom will need continuing care as they grow older.
Supporting an elderly loved one can be challenging, especially if the person is opposed to treatment or you have other responsibilities, like children of your own. However, careful planning can ensure that you and your family members navigate this new time of life in comfort.
It can be uncomfortable to address heavy topics like estate planning, funeral preparations, or how to manage adult incontinence. However, avoiding the conversion can lead to more heartache and stress in the future.
Set aside time to talk frankly with your relative about these important issues, preferably when they are in a clear state of mind. Reassuring them that you want to respect their wishes and independence as much as possible can help them open up.
When you make your relative an active part of planning for their care, they feel more in control and may be more willing to negotiate about certain aspects, such as when to stop driving or when it’s time to go into a nursing home.
You’ll want to discuss topics such as making a power of attorney, setting up an estate, and the senior citizen’s wishes regarding resuscitation or removal of life support. Don’t assume you know what they will want: your relative may surprise you with their decisions.
If issues arise where you disagree with their decisions, such as the individual refusing to consider a nursing home, try to mediate the problem with a supportive third party, such as another relative, friend, or even a social worker.
Knowing who you can turn to for help can ease your mind and allow you to make faster decisions if the worst-case scenario occurs. It can also empower you to advocate for your loved one while balancing your other responsibilities.
For example, those in the Central Jersey region should be familiar with the cases a Trenton nursing home abuse lawyer can handle so that they can act as soon as they suspect abuse. Even a delay of a few days can lead to serious issues for a senior citizen, so having these resources on hand can be extremely important.
The services your relative may need depend on where they live and what challenges they’re facing. For example, if they are in a senior living community, some services, like housekeeping, are already available, but if they live independently, you may need to coordinate things like delivery services and home health aides on their behalf. You should also review respite care services in your area so that you know where to turn for additional help.
Advocating for your loved one is essential, especially if they are suffering from physical disabilities or cognitive impairments. The first step of this is deciding who will be your relative’s medical power of attorney, which means that you can make decisions for them if they are incapacitated.
However, advocacy doesn’t just happen when your loved one has a medical emergency or is at the end of their life. Staying involved in their care can mean attending doctor’s appointments with them, where you can get helpful advice about how to assist them in their everyday life.
If your loved one is in a nursing home, visit regularly and talk with staff. Not only can this help your relative feel supported, but it can also ensure that you stay on top of any emerging medical issues and prevent nursing home abuse.
Caregivers may suffer from burnout if they are serving as their relative’s primary support system. Burnout can make you struggle in every aspect of your life, from maintaining healthy routines to making poor decisions about your loved one’s care. For some people, this can lead to resentment, frustration, or even serious mental health issues like depression.
The best way to avoid burnout is to recruit more help and share the load amongst multiple people. While this isn’t always possible due to financial restraints, you can lean on your community, such as friends, family, and social groups. Even small favors, like Meals on Wheels delivery or a friend offering to run errands, can significantly relieve your stress.
Watching a parent or other relative suffer from health issues is often traumatic, and you may feel guilty that you can’t do more. However, counselors, social workers, and support groups can help you process these feelings so that you can be your best self, both for you and your loved one.
While aging is inevitable, it can also bring families closer when everyone communicates honestly and prepares for contingencies. Knowledge, preparation, and support can ensure that you and your loved one face this new period stronger than ever.
