If you're a grandparent watching your grandchild struggle with alcohol abuse, you're not alone—and your concern is both valid and deeply needed. Families are often the first line of support, and as a grandparent, your influence and involvement can play a critical role in helping a young person find the path to recovery.
Whether your grandchild is a teenager or a young adult, understanding how to intervene with compassion and confidence can make all the difference.
In this blog, Breaking AC will review how you can recognize the signs of alcohol abuse, how to approach the subject, what treatment options are available, and how to support your grandchild over the long term.
Alcohol abuse in adolescents and young adults often looks different than in older individuals. While some behaviors might be dismissed as “normal teenage rebellion,” it's important to know when something more serious may be developing. Common signs include sudden shifts in mood, secrecy about whereabouts or behavior, decline in academic performance, changes in sleep or eating patterns, and noticeable withdrawal from family and friends.
You might also notice physical signs such as bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, or the smell of alcohol. These changes may be gradual or abrupt—but the earlier they are noticed, the sooner intervention can begin.
Grandparents often feel a unique kind of heartbreak when witnessing a grandchild go down a difficult path. You may feel helpless, confused, or unsure about your role. Unlike parents, who may feel a sense of direct authority, you might worry about overstepping boundaries or making things worse.
But know this: your love and concern can be a powerful stabilizing force. Many grandchildren view their grandparents as a source of wisdom and unconditional support—something that can be pivotal in moments of crisis.
Opening up a conversation about alcohol abuse with your grandchild can be uncomfortable, but it’s often necessary. The key is to approach them with empathy, not judgment. Choose a calm, private moment when emotions aren’t already running high. Begin by expressing concern, not control.
For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed some changes lately, and I want to make sure you’re okay.” Avoid lecturing or accusing, and instead invite them to talk about what they’re experiencing. If they are resistant at first, don’t push too hard—leave the door open for future conversations. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to listen can make a young person feel less alone.
If your grandchild is showing consistent signs of alcohol abuse or has had legal, academic, or health issues related to drinking, professional help is not only appropriate—it may be necessary. This doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them. It means you’re acknowledging that some problems are bigger than what love alone can solve.
Professional treatment programs for young people struggling with alcohol use can include therapy, detox services, outpatient counseling, and in some cases, residential treatment programs. These programs are staffed by clinicians trained in adolescent and young adult substance use and can offer both medical and emotional care tailored to their age group.
Treatment for alcohol use in young people varies based on age, severity, and individual needs. Options may include:
Detox and stabilization: For those experiencing physical dependence, medically supervised detox and proven teen substance abuse treatment can ensure safety and comfort during withdrawal.
Outpatient programs: These allow young people to receive therapy while continuing to attend school or live at home, depending on the situation.
Intensive outpatient programs (IOP): A more structured level of care, IOPs provide multiple therapy sessions per week and often include family involvement.
Residential treatment: In more severe cases, residential programs offer 24-hour care in a structured environment. These programs typically incorporate therapy, education, and skill-building activities.
Aftercare and relapse prevention: Ongoing support after primary treatment is essential. This may include counseling, recovery groups, or sober mentorship.
Many treatment centers accept health insurance, including Medicaid and private insurance plans. If your grandchild is still a minor, their parents’ insurance may provide access to youth-focused behavioral health care. If they are over 18, they may qualify for coverage through their own plan, or through state-based healthcare options if income is a barrier.
Some facilities also offer financial assistance or payment plans. It’s worth calling treatment centers directly to ask what support they can offer and what paperwork or eligibility requirements apply.
In some cases, grandparents step in because the child’s parents are unable or unwilling to help. This can make an already difficult situation even more complex. If your grandchild is a minor and their parents are not engaged, you may need to explore guardianship or temporary custody if formal treatment decisions need to be made.
If your grandchild is over 18, you can still offer guidance, help with appointments, and assist in navigating healthcare systems, even if you don’t have legal authority. Your support still matters.
As a grandparent, your instinct may be to protect and provide—but it’s important to know the difference between supporting your grandchild and enabling harmful behaviors. Offering rides to treatment appointments, listening without judgment, and reinforcing healthy choices are supportive.
On the other hand, covering up consequences, giving money without accountability, or ignoring the signs of relapse can do more harm than good. Creating clear, compassionate boundaries is one of the best ways you can be both loving and effective.
Alcohol abuse doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It affects—and is affected by—the entire family system. Family therapy is often a part of recovery, helping everyone understand the underlying dynamics and how to better support each other.
Even if not everyone in the family can participate, your willingness to learn about addiction, communication strategies, and recovery support can have a ripple effect. Many treatment programs include family sessions and education components, and some offer support groups specifically for grandparents and extended relatives.
Recovery from alcohol abuse isn’t a straight line, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Your grandchild may take two steps forward and one step back. That doesn’t mean they’re failing—it means they’re human. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, and try to avoid reacting with panic during setbacks. Encourage a mindset of persistence rather than perfection.
As your grandchild begins to build healthier coping skills, rebuild trust, and reclaim their goals, your steady presence can be a powerful reminder that change is possible and worth fighting for.
Many communities offer local resources for substance use support for minors. This may include community mental health centers, nonprofit programs, faith-based recovery groups, and school-based counseling. You can start by contacting a local treatment center, speaking with your grandchild’s doctor or school counselor, or calling a behavioral health hotline.
There are also national helplines that can refer you to nearby programs. If internet access is easier, many directories and recovery-focused websites now allow you to search by ZIP code, insurance type, or age group.
Supporting a grandchild through alcohol abuse can be emotionally draining. It’s important to care for your own mental and physical health as well. Consider joining a support group for families of individuals with substance use disorders.
These spaces offer not only information but a sense of connection with others going through similar struggles. Talking to a therapist, maintaining your own routines, and setting boundaries when needed are not selfish—they’re necessary. The stronger you are, the more helpful you can be to your grandchild.
Helping a grandchild who is struggling with alcohol abuse is one of the most difficult—and potentially life-changing—roles a grandparent can take on. While you may not be able to fix everything, your love and willingness to act can provide a foundation for recovery. Start by learning, listening, and leaning into the resources available to you. Your support may be the turning point that leads your grandchild toward healing, hope, and a future free from alcohol’s hold.